Focused. Fearless. Female.

You don’t have to be a horse lover to love this news…

For the first time in history, the jockey with the best record in America today just happens to be a woman. In a fiercely competitive sport dominated by men, Rosie Naprovnik has a shot at one of the most coveted accomplishments in sports: winning the Kentucky Derby.

The takeaway? The three qualities that took Rosie to the top of her profession could take you to your personal best too.

She’s clear about her passion — racing horses. She feels most authentic on the back of a horse.

Oh, and she’s fearless. Despite numerous falls and broken bones, she is focused on being her best.

Passion, authenticity and fearlessness…three essential ingredients to a life of happiness and success.

And you can tap into all three in our signature webinar series, The Alpha Mare: Embrace the Grace of Power.

From the comfort of the chair you choose (which may not be a saddle), in four online sessions, you can discover the answers to these questions:

What is your passion?
When are you your most authentic self?
What fears are limiting you?
What stories are holding you back?

Check it out today — sessions begin Friday, May 3rd.

I love helping women put together what’s in their heads with what’s their hearts. Hope you’ll join us!

Take care, d

P.S. A bonus lesson from Rosie — It’s okay to be competitive! Just compete fairly.

You Were Born With Wings…

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The subject line of this short post is the beginning of a quote by the poet Rumi. The full quote is:

“You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life?”

But just yesterday I asked a woman who owns her business what resources or education she would find most helpful to her as she thinks about growing her business. She said, “I want to grow, I want to make more money, but I just can’t right now. That would take time away from my son, and I just won’t do that.”

Her belief? That it’s an either or choice. That one comes at the expense of the other.

The combination of Rumi’s inspirational quote and my friend’s sad self-limiting belief reminded me of Sheryl Sandberg’s TED talk – it’s worth listening to, not just once but as many times as it takes to truly absorb the support and encouragement she offers.

Sandberg is talking about female executives – the messages they tell themselves, how they underestimate their own abilities, how they slide into self-doubt, and consequently lean back instead of leaning in.

I’ve seen the same behavior in female entrepreneurs. Thinking small instead of thinking big. Believing that growing your business equates to sacrificing your personal life. Worrying that making our desires and expectations clear will make us less likeable.

These are just a few of the ways women pull back. How we crawl through life instead of using our wings.

The facts tell us clearly that women run smaller businesses than men, and self-employed women earn only 55% of what self-employed men earn. Ouch!

Read my report about Why Women Run Smaller Businesses Than Men.

Then let me know what you think and how you experience your world of being a female business owner. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

And remember, you were born with wings!

Photo Journal of What Rwanda Can Teach Us

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I’ve spent the last week thinking about how to put in perspective the lessons learned on this second journey to Rwanda.

The women there think they are learning from us, and I believe they do. But we learn from them as well.

So maybe I can tell this story of what Rwanda can teach us in pictures.

Let me begin with the obvious: each country is different, having been shaped by its own history, traditions, geography and natural resources. The story of Rwanda is worth learning (please go deeper than what you find on Wikipedia and read A Thousand Hills) because while most people associate it with violence and tragedy, this is a country that teaches resilience, pride, forgiveness and redemption.

The name Rwanda actually means “land of a thousand hills,” and as you drive north toward Volcanoes National Park, you can see why. While it is not blessed with some of the natural resources of its neighboring countries (diamonds, oil, copper) it is blessed with beauty and fertile soil.

What natural resources are you blessed with? How can you make the most of your inherent gifts, fostering and improving them, until you develop a mastery?

This volcanic base is what makes the land so fertile. Once outside of the city, lush farms can be seen in every direction. But farming isn’t necessarily easy. Notice the volcanic rocks to the side of this neatly tended crop. This work of tilling the soil and removing the rocks is done by hand, mostly by women. The rocks are set aside, hopefully to be re-purposed – perhaps used to build a fence – or sold which brings the subsistence farmers much-needed cash. What are the rocks in your fertile soil? Are you willing to do what is hard, to go through the laborious process to remove them, to improve what you grow? How can you make the most of the rocks that are removed?

When the crops are harvested, they are taken to market. People who live outside of the city do not own cars, which makes the trip to market strenuous. This looked like back-breaking work to me, and but I saw people smiling everywhere. They take pride in their work. Yet I can’t help but hope for a new distribution method to take hold here!

What’s the back-breaking part of your business? Is there a way to collaborate with others to lighten the load? Are you open to new ideas about how you might do things a bit differently? Or are you stubbornly attached to what you are doing “because we’ve always done it that way?”

Once at the market, sales are strictly cash. The technology for point-of-sale credit card transactions isn’t available yet, though hopefully it will be within a year. Cell phones, however, are quite widely used, so just imagine what the new Square technology will do for these merchants, allowing them to accept credit cards on the spot, using simply a cell phone connection. Are you making the most of any and all new technology that could increase your sales? How do you stay up with trends in technology?

You can’t talk about Rwanda without talking about the gorillas, which are one of the country’s beloved natural resources. President Paul Kagame foresaw that tourism could be a major factor in economic development. Tourists come from all over the world to hike into the Virunga mountains to spend just one hour with the gorillas in their natural habitat. Of course, for a country to attract tourists, it has to offer services that are up to the standards and expectations of visitors. The government initiated a national campaign to teach excellent customer service.

What are you doing to train your staff to provide excellent customer service? Have you defined what “excellent” means, so that all employees have a shared understanding?

Kigali, the capital of Rwanda, is known for how safe and clean the city is. Each morning, women sweep the streets of any debris that has drifted into the roads.

Is there a morning ritual you and your staff need to implement, to begin each day with clean and fresh start?

I am tempted to say that I included this photo just because it’s so vibrant and colorful. This is a decorative wall in a charming coffee shop, using small pieces of traditional African fabric to look almost like a brilliant bookshelf.

Beauty and cheer have a value in and of themselves. Work need not be dreary! What can you do to make your work world more colorful and cheerful?

The women of Cocoki sewing cooperative are developing quite a name for themselves. The women make all decisions together, and have begun exporting their creations to notable retailed in the U.S., such as J Crew and Nicole Miller.

No matter where we are, no matter who we are, no matter what we do, we are connected. We are all sisters, we are all in this together. Let’s reach out to one another to share wisdom, encouragement and the gift of friendship.

Take care, d

Journey to Rwanda…almost

I Stand With Sheryl Sandberg

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I’m a little worked up today. Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg seems to have rocked the world with her new book Lean In. I’m shocked that her encouragement of women could be controversial. What’s the controversy about?

“We hold ourselves back in ways both big and small, by lacking self-confidence, by not raising our hands, and by pulling back when we should be leaning in,” says Sandberg.

She’s talking about female executives, and I’ve seen the same behavior in female entrepreneurs. In fact, I write about some of these same points in a white paper about why women run smaller businesses than men. I developed a deep and substantive workshop specifically to help women look inside at what’s holding them back, to get clear on their expectations, learn to find their voice, embrace their power and stop playing small. (Stay tuned…coming in April.)

What I find so troubling about the controversy is that it’s female journalists and bloggers criticizing her, implying that she’s “blaming” women. Blaming them for what?

From Sandberg’s TED talk and what I’ve seen of her subsequent speech at a graduation ceremony, I hear her saying that women sabotage themselves at work in ways that men do not. She is not denying that some workplace cultures make it harder for women to succeed. I think there’s a difference between saying something equivalent to, “Let’s take a close look at our own behavior and how we contribute to the problem” and “blaming women.”

Women turning on one another is just one more way we sabotoge ourselves.

I think Sandberg’s LeanIn circles are a great idea. My company, EWF International, has been creating and facilitating these peer advisory groups for fifteen years . The members learn from one another, through open requests for input and honest feedback. Notice I said honest, not brutal. The women are there to help one another, not criticize.

Let’s agree that there is more than one factor contributing to the fact that women still earn only 77 cents on the dollar. Let’s agree there is more than one factor contributing to the fact that self-employed women earn only 55% of what self-employed men earn.

Then lets’ take responsibility for our side of the street, quit making excuses, and pointing fingers. Let’s learn to embrace our power, live the lives we really want, and earn what we deserve. And please, let’s quit criticizing each other on the journey.

Why Should I Care?

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Gloria, a proud Peace Through Business graduate

Take five minutes, one deep breath of gratitude and celebrate women with me today.

March 8^th is International Women’ Day, a global day honoring all women — famous and obscure, rich and poor, liberated and oppressed –– worldwide.

This special day always reminds me that we are all sisters — more alike than different — all doing our best to make a difference. This year, celebrating women around the globe feels especially meaningful because March is book-ended with giving speeches to two different cultures.

On March 1^st, I’ll be talking with women at the Raindrop Turkish House, an organization that promotes cross-cultural understanding and inter-faith fellowship.

On March 28^th, I’ll deliver the keynote address in Kigali, Rwanda for graduates of the Peace Through Business program offered through the Institute for Economic Empowerment of Women. Thirty Rwandan women complete a course in business entrepreneurship, then study with mentors in the United States.

So What?

When I told a friend about my upcoming trip to Rwanda and my admiration for the Peace Through Business program, he asked why I cared so much about women half a world away. How could I hope to have an impact so far away?

I understand…we have plenty of problems right here at home, don’t we?

But I Do Care

I care because research shows that in Brazil, when the household income is managed by the mother, not the father, a child’s chance of survival is 20 percent greater.

I care because in Ghana, giving women the same access to fertilizer and other agricultural inputs as men increases maze yields by up to 70 percent.

I care because every social and economic index shows that countries with educated women are a strong defense against extremism. I care when women learn, their children are safer, healthier and their entire community improves.

I care because research proves that women foster peace and global security. Women make unique contributions during peace negotiations, then help bring those agreements to life, through forgiveness and reconciliation in their communities.

I care because getting to know women from other countries and other cultures deepens my compassion and inspires me to help women achieve what they might not have thought possible. They make me a better person.

Can you Remain Unmoved?

Who among us was not touched by Malala Yousafzai, the 14-year old girl from Pakistan who risked her life to speak out for the education of girls?

Who among us cannot admire the courage of the three women jointly awarded the 2011 Nobel Peace Prize “for their non-violent struggle for the safety of women and for women’s rights to full participation in peace-building work.”

Ellen Johnson Sirleaf was elected President of Liberia after a long career in government that included years under house arrest and being sentenced to ten years in prison for speaking out against the ruthless warlord Charles Taylor.
Leeymah Gbowee rose from a homeless, near starving refugee to become a powerful peace activist instrumental in ending the civil war in Liberia.
Tawakkol Karman became the international public face of the 2011 Yemeni uprising that is part of the Arab Spring uprisings. A journalist, politician and activist, she has been called by Yemenis the “Iron Woman” and “Mother of the Revolution.”

We’re Not There Yet

While we celebrate women’s success, this day also reminds us of tragic inequities yet to be resolved.

Who among us can forget the brutal gang rape of a young woman in India, who died as a result of her injuries?

Yes, we still have work to do.

Celebrate the women in your life today, those who inspire and encourage you, those who care for you, those who challenge you. Celebrate those who need you, who depend on you, who look to you as their role model.

Celebrate women worldwide today, in a unified effort, a unified commitment to the rights of women and girls.

Celebrate and remember that we indeed can change the world, by each of us living from a desire to contribute to the common good.

Darcie Harris

Speaker | Trainer | Champion for Women Entrepreneurs