Author Archives: Darcie Harris

Break Your Own Glass Ceiling

What’s the story?

My friend has a story – a “work is hard” story. It’s a self-limiting belief, her own personal glass ceiling.

Every family has its own overarching “story.” It could be a rags to riches story. Or maybe it’s a fall from grace story. It could be a pull yourself up by your bootstraps story, a keeping up with the Jones’ story.

We live out our lives mostly unconscious of the stories we have about ourselves and others.

Our stories are the conclusions we’ve drawn — and often we’ve never examined the assumptions we made that brought us to those conclusions.

Sometimes our stories are positive and affirming. More often than not they include hidden self-limiting beliefs.

These self-limiting beliefs keep us from being authentic. Our stories keep us from embracing our full potential, from living the life we really want.

Human nature being what it is, we typically prefer the comfort of holding on to what’s familiar. Our stories create a safety zone.

They become our unspoken rules for playing the game of life.

It’s time for a few questions

Questioning our stories – our beliefs – can often feel as difficult as accepting someone telling you that the alphabet begins with Z and ends with A, when all your life you were taught that it was the other way around.

But what if…just what if, believing the alphabet began with A and ended with Z were holding you back from achieving some goal, exploring some passion?

And what if…just what if, believing that the alphabet begins with Z and ends with A would free you up to pursue your deepest desires? Wouldn’t it at least be worth exploring?

Human beings are strange creatures! Research proves we are so attached to what we already believe that we actually limit the information we take in to what validates what we already believe.

We have to be very intentional about letting new information, ideas and possibilities in.

Our stories are not the ultimate one-and-only truth how life works, about who we are and what we can or want to be. They are simply our interpretation of the facts, and what we have made those facts mean to us.

Challenging whether our interpretation is the only right conclusion means finding a freedom to discover and embrace your full potential.

My friend never questioned her father’s beliefs. She didn’t look deeply into how he developed his assumptions and his conclusions. So his beliefs operate in her unconscious mind, just below the surface.

Break your personal glass ceiling

Here’s how we challenge these false conclusions. We can question our stories and reframe what we believe, by asking ourselves two questions:

What are the facts?
What did I make those facts mean about me?

Let’s go back to my friend and her dad. What are the facts?

He was a smart man with limited formal education.
He worked in a job that required physical labor.
What did he make those facts mean?
He assumed that people who made more money in jobs that didn’t involve physical work had it easy.
He concluded that they were lazy.

My friend accepted these assumptions and conclusions without even knowing it.

Hello…it doesn’t have to be this way! We can discover some of our self-limiting beliefs that keep us stuck when we question our assumptions and conclusions.

We can rewrite our own stories!

I hope you’ll look back and listen deeply to your old family stories . Listen for what you made those stories mean about you and for your life.

Challenge the old assumptions and conclusions.

Then rewrite your own story. Break your own glass ceiling!

I’d love to hear about what changes take place once that glass is shattered!

By Darcie Harris ©

The Inside Story of One Entrepreneur’s Unstoppable Persistence

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Meet RussAnn Anderson.

It took nearly three years for RussAnn’s brilliant idea to become a reality. I call it brilliant because it wasn’t rocket science. Yet what seemed so obvious, practical and concrete turned into an obstacle course, calling on RussAnn’s skills of problem solving, persistence and patience.

When I asked RussAnn what other female entrepreneurs could learn from her experience she said:

Don’t let anybody, not anybody, tell you that you can’t do it or the doubt will eat you alive
Believe in yourself and your vision because that’s what will keep you going
Don’t be afraid to ask for help; get over your pride
Don’t stop when you hit an obstacle and don’t dwell in the direction you were going. It’s a winding curve.

Once you read her story, you’ll know why those are the very lessons every female entrepreneur needs to learn.

April 2010

RussAnn gets an idea. She and her husband have been boaters for years, spending most weekends with their children wakeboarding. Wakeboarding boats are too tall to fit into a garage or typical storage area. And most neighborhoods prohibit you (thankfully!) from parking it on the front lawn!

They stored their boat in an airplane hangar – on the other side of town for a mere $400 a month.

One day, RussAnn’s husband Michael came home and said, “Good news! After nine months on their waiting list, a space finally opened up at the boat storage place.”

That week, RussAnn & Michael met the owner of the storage unit in the parking lot, and handed over a check for $95, their new monthly storage cost.

RussAnn also owns a Kumon franchise and thought, “You know, my current customers spend about $95 a month on average, and what I do for that same dollar amount is a LOT more work than meeting someone in a parking lot and taking a check!”

Her wheels began turning. Build a boat and RV storage complex! Clearly there was a market, since they had been on a waiting list for nine months. This business required the work up front to build it, but very little work to run it. She saw the business as a way to fund an early retirement, with very little effort.

She began her research. She got online and found a company that hosted trade shows for the storage industry. She was the only female in attendance! Impressed with one of the speakers, she hired him to do a comprehensive feasibility study.

The result? “This is a gold mine,” he told RussAnn. “There is virtually no competition for boat and recreational vehicle storage here.” The few people who did offer a limited number of spaces did no marketing because they always had a waiting list.

As a boater herself, RussAnn knew the perfect location for the storage business had to be near the two major highways that boaters travel to get to the many lakes and near a gas station with an RV dump. Between internet research and driving the area, she found the perfect place – almost. It was too much property. Undaunted, she approached the bank that owned the property and convinced them to split the property into two parcels.

Now she had to decide whether to lock herself into purchasing the property, knowing she would need an estimated $1.7 million more to build the units.

August 2010

RussAnn told me what was unfolding while we were on her EWF Forum retreat outside of Boulder, CO. She’d have to get a huge loan and raise the down payment in cash. Between the land and the construction, she thought she’d need about $260,000 in cash. It would be a huge leap of faith. I said, “RussAnn, your whole Forum is here together. Why not use our time before we go to dinner to talk this over with your group and get their input?”

Her Forum agreed it was a great business plan and encouraged her to pursue the deal. “If I had not talked this through with my Forum, I wouldn’t have done this; they gave me courage,” RussAnn told me later. “It’s a big leap from idea to execution – that’s like the Grand Canyon. It was getting pretty scary, the thought of signing a huge loan and raising the cash for the down payment.” But RussAnn remembers her Forum members telling her, “You can do this and we will be here for you every step of the way.”

September 2010

RussAnn put the land under contract only to discover there were issues with the easements on the property. That would take time to resolve with the city but it gave her time to look for the financing. A former banker herself, she put together five 3-inch binders, filled with every piece of information the bankers would need: a business plan, financial pro-formas, the feasibility study, the land contract, and tax returns.

The months ticked by, with one appointment after another, each bank dragging its feet. They didn’t understand boat and RV storage. They were gun shy after the traditional storage industry problems back in the late ’80’s. They considered the storage building “temporary” because it would be steel, and didn’t want to finance it. No. No. No.

Two banks said they would take a closer look, but only after RussAnn raised the 20% down. By now, all the raw materials costs had increased and once all the construction bids came in, costs had grown from $1.7 million to $2.4 million. She’d need to bring a total of $480,000 in cash to closing. “Everyone told me I needed the cash, but no one told me how to raise it,” RussAnn said.

More conversations with her Forum led her to look to family as investors first. “I didn’t like that idea,” RussAnn said, “But I just had to get over my own pride.” Fortunate to be from a family of entrepreneurs, her family looked at her business plan and happily agreed to invest. Those commitments totaled $200,000, less than half of what she needed.

She met with a couple of private equity people, but didn’t get any takers. Someone told her that with family as investors, a filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission would be required. Several meeting with attorneys and several months later, that turned out to be avoidable, simply by properly structuring the legal agreements with the investors.

As the months passed, she worried that another entrepreneur – someone with lots of cash – would buy the land and build the structure before she had time to raise the money she needed.

July 2011

A family member referred RussAnn to another bank. She met with the CEO who told her about a new program that allows you to use your own retirement as part of your equity, but there could be tax consequences. He wasn’t clear on the details and referred her to yet another company.

Months went by as RussAnn researched the legal and tax implications of that possibility. In the meantime, the bank that owned the property resolved the easement issues and was now pressing her to close the deal. Though she was still trying to raise the entire down payment and her construction loan had not been approved, she and Michael decided to purchase the property.

March through December 2012

RussAnn finally had her down payment raised! Now it was up to the bank to get the loan approved, both through their bank and through the SBA. But the bank kept stalling. After months of being put off and misled by her loan officer, RussAnn had enough. She went directly to the bank president, armed with a folder of email communication between the loan officer and her.

“I had to get very factual, and all business, but it felt ugly,” RussAnn shared. “It turned out the loan officer knew nothing about how to deal with the SBA. My intent was not to get this guy fired, but the next day he lost his job.” The bank president assigned her a different loan officer.

But now, the bank said her construction estimates were more than 90 days old, so she had to get new bids for everything. And (surprise!) the lender told her there was an SBA fee of $50,000 that she had to pay in full up front, and she needed more cash for her down payment because she needed to calculate in her first year operating expenses. Once again, RussAnn went to her family to ask them for more money.

January 2013

Almost three years later, RussAnn finally closed on her loan! Her simple idea was about to become a reality.

“We encountered so many unexpected obstacles. Every step of the way I dealt with men who did not take me seriously. I wasn’t used to that. I just kept looking at the facts, asking myself, what are all the options? It took me driving this deal forward to get it done.”

May 2013

As of this writing, construction has finally begun, which brought new obstacles to face. Given RussAnn’s unstoppable persistence, I have no doubt she’ll resolve them and this entrepreneurial venture will be a great success!

Focused. Fearless. Female.

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You don’t have to be a horse lover to love this news…

For the first time in history, the jockey with the best record in America today just happens to be a woman. In a fiercely competitive sport dominated by men, Rosie Naprovnik has a shot at one of the most coveted accomplishments in sports: winning the Kentucky Derby.

The takeaway? The three qualities that took Rosie to the top of her profession could take you to your personal best too.

She’s clear about her passion — racing horses. She feels most authentic on the back of a horse.

Oh, and she’s fearless. Despite numerous falls and broken bones, she is focused on being her best.

Passion, authenticity and fearlessness…three essential ingredients to a life of happiness and success.

And you can tap into all three in our signature webinar series, The Alpha Mare: Embrace the Grace of Power.

From the comfort of the chair you choose (which may not be a saddle), in four online sessions, you can discover the answers to these questions:

What is your passion?
When are you your most authentic self?
What fears are limiting you?
What stories are holding you back?

Check it out today — sessions begin Friday, May 3rd.

I love helping women put together what’s in their heads with what’s their hearts. Hope you’ll join us!

Take care, d

P.S. A bonus lesson from Rosie — It’s okay to be competitive! Just compete fairly.

Photo Journal of What Rwanda Can Teach Us

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I’ve spent the last week thinking about how to put in perspective the lessons learned on this second journey to Rwanda.

The women there think they are learning from us, and I believe they do. But we learn from them as well.

So maybe I can tell this story of what Rwanda can teach us in pictures.

Let me begin with the obvious: each country is different, having been shaped by its own history, traditions, geography and natural resources. The story of Rwanda is worth learning (please go deeper than what you find on Wikipedia and read A Thousand Hills) because while most people associate it with violence and tragedy, this is a country that teaches resilience, pride, forgiveness and redemption.

The name Rwanda actually means “land of a thousand hills,” and as you drive north toward Volcanoes National Park, you can see why. While it is not blessed with some of the natural resources of its neighboring countries (diamonds, oil, copper) it is blessed with beauty and fertile soil.

What natural resources are you blessed with? How can you make the most of your inherent gifts, fostering and improving them, until you develop a mastery?

This volcanic base is what makes the land so fertile. Once outside of the city, lush farms can be seen in every direction. But farming isn’t necessarily easy. Notice the volcanic rocks to the side of this neatly tended crop. This work of tilling the soil and removing the rocks is done by hand, mostly by women. The rocks are set aside, hopefully to be re-purposed – perhaps used to build a fence – or sold which brings the subsistence farmers much-needed cash. What are the rocks in your fertile soil? Are you willing to do what is hard, to go through the laborious process to remove them, to improve what you grow? How can you make the most of the rocks that are removed?

When the crops are harvested, they are taken to market. People who live outside of the city do not own cars, which makes the trip to market strenuous. This looked like back-breaking work to me, and but I saw people smiling everywhere. They take pride in their work. Yet I can’t help but hope for a new distribution method to take hold here!

What’s the back-breaking part of your business? Is there a way to collaborate with others to lighten the load? Are you open to new ideas about how you might do things a bit differently? Or are you stubbornly attached to what you are doing “because we’ve always done it that way?”

Once at the market, sales are strictly cash. The technology for point-of-sale credit card transactions isn’t available yet, though hopefully it will be within a year. Cell phones, however, are quite widely used, so just imagine what the new Square technology will do for these merchants, allowing them to accept credit cards on the spot, using simply a cell phone connection. Are you making the most of any and all new technology that could increase your sales? How do you stay up with trends in technology?

You can’t talk about Rwanda without talking about the gorillas, which are one of the country’s beloved natural resources. President Paul Kagame foresaw that tourism could be a major factor in economic development. Tourists come from all over the world to hike into the Virunga mountains to spend just one hour with the gorillas in their natural habitat. Of course, for a country to attract tourists, it has to offer services that are up to the standards and expectations of visitors. The government initiated a national campaign to teach excellent customer service.

What are you doing to train your staff to provide excellent customer service? Have you defined what “excellent” means, so that all employees have a shared understanding?

Kigali, the capital of Rwanda, is known for how safe and clean the city is. Each morning, women sweep the streets of any debris that has drifted into the roads.

Is there a morning ritual you and your staff need to implement, to begin each day with clean and fresh start?

I am tempted to say that I included this photo just because it’s so vibrant and colorful. This is a decorative wall in a charming coffee shop, using small pieces of traditional African fabric to look almost like a brilliant bookshelf.

Beauty and cheer have a value in and of themselves. Work need not be dreary! What can you do to make your work world more colorful and cheerful?

The women of Cocoki sewing cooperative are developing quite a name for themselves. The women make all decisions together, and have begun exporting their creations to notable retailed in the U.S., such as J Crew and Nicole Miller.

No matter where we are, no matter who we are, no matter what we do, we are connected. We are all sisters, we are all in this together. Let’s reach out to one another to share wisdom, encouragement and the gift of friendship.

Take care, d

Journey to Rwanda…almost

I Stand With Sheryl Sandberg

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I’m a little worked up today. Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg seems to have rocked the world with her new book Lean In. I’m shocked that her encouragement of women could be controversial. What’s the controversy about?

“We hold ourselves back in ways both big and small, by lacking self-confidence, by not raising our hands, and by pulling back when we should be leaning in,” says Sandberg.

She’s talking about female executives, and I’ve seen the same behavior in female entrepreneurs. In fact, I write about some of these same points in a white paper about why women run smaller businesses than men. I developed a deep and substantive workshop specifically to help women look inside at what’s holding them back, to get clear on their expectations, learn to find their voice, embrace their power and stop playing small. (Stay tuned…coming in April.)

What I find so troubling about the controversy is that it’s female journalists and bloggers criticizing her, implying that she’s “blaming” women. Blaming them for what?

From Sandberg’s TED talk and what I’ve seen of her subsequent speech at a graduation ceremony, I hear her saying that women sabotage themselves at work in ways that men do not. She is not denying that some workplace cultures make it harder for women to succeed. I think there’s a difference between saying something equivalent to, “Let’s take a close look at our own behavior and how we contribute to the problem” and “blaming women.”

Women turning on one another is just one more way we sabotoge ourselves.

I think Sandberg’s LeanIn circles are a great idea. My company, EWF International, has been creating and facilitating these peer advisory groups for fifteen years . The members learn from one another, through open requests for input and honest feedback. Notice I said honest, not brutal. The women are there to help one another, not criticize.

Let’s agree that there is more than one factor contributing to the fact that women still earn only 77 cents on the dollar. Let’s agree there is more than one factor contributing to the fact that self-employed women earn only 55% of what self-employed men earn.

Then lets’ take responsibility for our side of the street, quit making excuses, and pointing fingers. Let’s learn to embrace our power, live the lives we really want, and earn what we deserve. And please, let’s quit criticizing each other on the journey.