Pick Up Your Drum & Dance

The text message arrived early New Year’s day.  “N’attends pas que les événements arrivent comme tu le souhaites.  Décide de vouloir ce qui arrive…et tu seras heureux.” 

This was a New Year’s wish from a long-time client, a native of Switzerland, who enjoys sending messages in French as much as I love untangling them.  This one translates as, “Do not expect that events arrive as you want. Decide you want what happens … and you shall be happy.”   

In other words, choose happiness.

What makes the quote even more meaningful is that the original words were spoken by Epictetus, a Greek philosopher, who began life as a slave.  (He’s perhaps best known as the guy who said, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen more than we speak.”)

I was touched by my client’s thoughtfulness and a bit surprised.  This particular client is perhaps the most driven, most determined I’ve ever worked with.  He (my only male client!) is a perfectionist, with very high expectations.   I actually like that about him (most of the time), because he epitomizes what I so often try to teach women.  Think big, and do not apologize for your ambitions.

Twenty-four hours later, I smiled with joy from start to finish as I watched the movie Sweet Dreams, set in Butare, a rural village in Rwanda.  The country has made tremendous economic progress since the tragic genocide of 1994.  Yet 85% of the people are subsistence farmers, so the struggle to survive and provide persists.

The movie tells the story of Rwanda’s first and only female drumming troupe, Ingoma Nshya Dancing and drumming are beautiful traditions of the Rwanda’s people, but drumming was for men only — till now!

The drumming troupe is open to women from both sides of the genocide — the orphans, widows, wives and children of both victims and perpetrators.

The only requirement?  They had to leave the categories of the past at the gate.

Kiki, the leader of the drumming troupe, tasted ice cream in another country.  No such sweetness was part of Rwandan life!  She decided to form a co-op and open Butare’s first ice cream shop.  They named the shop Inzozi Nziza (Sweet Dreams).

I wish you could see how these women work together, side by side, making all decisions together.  But more than anything I wish you could see the joy on their faces as they drum and dance.

These remarkable women have made a choice.  They chose forgiveness.  They chose happiness.

These two random events — the text message from a client and the movie the next day — had a powerful effect on me as they worked their way through my mind and my heart and wove themselves together.

Just last week I grumbled about having to pay the plumber $250 to fix leaky faucets.  The prior week I whined about losing tree limbs in the ice storm.  And yet I have a comfortable, warm home, plenty to eat, more clothes and shoes than I can wear in a year and the freedom to choose what I want to do and how I feel.

So the universe offered me a little gift of serendipity this year, saying one thing:  choose happiness.

Feel all your feelings, but don’t get stuck there.  It’s okay to feel disappointed, but move on.  It’s okay to feel discouraged, but try again.  It’s okay to feel angry, but let it go.  Choose happiness.

So as we enter this shiny new year, join me in remembering the former slave who used his experience to become a philosopher.  Join me in learning from the women of Rwanda who left the past behind and now blaze new trails together.  Join me in forgiving and feeling grateful.

Let’s choose happiness.  Pick up your drum and dance.

Take care,

Darcie

 

 

“Half my marketing dollars are wasted – I just don’t know which half”

220px-John_WanamakerThis handsome gentleman is John Wanamaker, the man often cited as the source of that famous quote above.

Did you know he was an incredibly successful Philadelphia merchant in the late 1800’s? 

I take strange comfort in knowing that marketing strategies have stumped business owners for hundreds of years. 

John Wanamaker was known as modest, honest and the innovator of the “money back guarantee.”  He was also known as a merchandising and advertising genius. 

So if John Wanamaker was confused – before the options of television, the internet, mobile devices and social media were thrown into the mix — it’s no surprise that business owners today are seriously confounded!

Do you know which half of your marketing dollars are wasted?

The massive amount of choices you have about how to spend your marketing money and time mean one thing:  you absolutely need a marketing plan.

You have to be relentlessly strategic, or you’ll go broke just throwing money at marketing.

Creating a well-defined marketing plan will help you generate more leads and increase your sales.  You’ll accomplish these three critical benefits:

1)      Make better decisions about where to spend marketing time and money

2)      Save marketing dollars by spending them on what works

3)      Keep you focused and consistent, instead of “hit and miss”

Now is the perfect time to create your marketing plan for 2014. 

We’ve made it easy for you.  Our e-course “Become a Marketing Superstar:  How to Create a Marketing Plan Guaranteed to Increase Sales” comes complete with a 12-page customizable marketing plan template!

So don’t wait!  Be strategic and prepared to make 2014 your best year ever.

get the details here

 

Take care,

Darcie

 

P.S.  And…like John Wanamaker, we’ll offer you a money-back guarantee!

Women entrepreneurs: we may not have met but I think I know you

orangesweater_highresEven if we haven’t met face to face, I bet I know a few things about you…

I know that you have courage you don’t give yourself credit for – I mean, you could have played it safe and chosen a “job” with a steady paycheck.  Or climbed the corporate ladder.  Right?

But that’s not what you wanted.

You wanted to be your own boss.  You wanted the flexibility of setting your own schedule, your own hours (even though that means some days you work till midnight!).

Or maybe you pursued your passion instead of tolerating a job that wasn’t satisfying for you.

I also know that despite the “marketing smile” you wear in public, sometimes you feel like a fraud, an imposter.  Sometimes you don’t feel as confident as you look.

Secretly you worry that someday, someone will “discover” that you really don’t know what you’re doing.

I also know that very likely you didn’t get special training in “how to be a woman entrepreneur” – and that’s true even if you have an MBA!  Because the real world doesn’t play out like what’s in the text books.

I know that you have dreams for your business, that you want it to grow, but you’re already working so hard that the thought of getting “bigger” feels like one more burden.

I know that sometimes it feels like every time you take step forward, there’s a step back.

I know sometimes you just feel stuck.  And alone.

I know this because I’ve worked exclusively with women business owners for sixteen years – in every industry you can imagine – from retail to doggie day cares to professional service firms to manufacturing companies.

I also know that most businesses reach a stage where they need very specific tools and concrete, practical directions.

And in that stage I know that the woman entrepreneur has to take a long hard look at herself.  She has to increase her business knowledge and her leadership abilities.  She has to move from “doing” to “leading.”

And I know for certain that’s entirely possible.

I’ve seen it happen, and been fortunate to be a part of that transition.  I know that when you learn the tools and processes necessary to get through this stage of growth, you can get unstuck and grow.

Getting bigger doesn’t have to mean working harder.

Your business can thrive and your life can become less stressful.  Your business can grow and become less dependent on you.  Your life can look like YOUR version of success.

Here’s what else I know:  I have no silver bullet, no quick fix, no magic wand to wave, no pixie dust to sprinkle.

If that’s what you’re looking for, then you can stop reading right here.  I don’t offer hype, oversimplified solutions and sound bites.  I don’t over-promise and under-deliver.

What I do offer is step-by-step learning.  It’s not sexy.  It’s not glamorous.

It’s the truth — the real deal.  I can show you the road map to get from where you are to where you want to be.

But I can’t do it alone.

You have to participate.  You have to be willing to risk who you are for who you can become.

And I know that’s not for everyone.  You have to want it.

Are you willing to learn the tools and the leadership skills necessary to grow?

If your answer is “Yes!” then I hope you’ll apply.

I’m now accepting ten students to take my seven-session e-course called THRIVE!  How to Get Unstuck and Grow your Business. 

If you are one of those ten, here’s what you’ll get:

  • Five online e-courses (lessons on planning, structure, financials and accountability)
  • Two 45-minute one-on-one coaching sessions (following sessions 3 and 5)
  • Tools that enable you to work “on” your business not just “in” your business
  • Interactive templates (so you don’t need to reinvent the wheel)
  • Guidelines that will show you how to transition from “doing” to “leading”
  • Knowledge on how to move from chaos to order
  • Instructions on how to standardize processes and procedures
  • Leadership skills to help you increase employee commitment, engagement and accountability

And if you do the work, here’s what you REALLY get:

  • The increased confidence that education and tools can bring
  • The peace of mind of knowing your company will be less dependent on you
  • The financial success to live the life you really want

And here’s the best part — since it’s online learning, you have lots of flexibility on when you view the courses.

  • The e-courses are sent to you weekly — curl up and view them at your convenience, any time before the following session.
  • Your coaching sessions are scheduled a week in advance.

Think it over.

Ask yourself this:  “How much can my revenues increase in just one year if I can get unstuck and grow this business?”

Compare that with your investment in the seven-session online course:  $1295 and your time (45-60 minutes per session).  If you do the work, the skills you learn will last a lifetime and you will recover your investment a hundred times over.

As with all my training, I offer a 100% money-back guarantee.  If you’re not completely satisfied, I’ll refund your payment.  No hassles.  No hurt feelings.  No risk.

So I hope you’ll take this opportunity to learn substantive, practical, essential business skills that will give you the confidence you need for your business (and you!) to THRIVE!

Only ten places are available and the deadline for application is Monday, January 6, 2013.  The e-course begins on Friday, January 10.

yes, i'm in

 

 

And as a special bonus, the first five women to enroll will receive FREE my e-course How to Create a Marketing Plan Guaranteed to Increase Sales (a $74 value), which includes an incredible 12-page interactive Marketing Plan template.

It’s your decision, but I hope you say, “I’m in!” and we’ll go down this road together.

yes, i'm in

 

 

Take care,

Darcie

 

 

P.S.  Oh, there’s one more thing I know:  if you’re willing to learn, you CAN go from feeling like an impostor to feeling like a smart, capable, unstoppable woman entrepreneur.

yes, i'm in

Women entrepreneurs: what got you here won’t get you there

Try this fun experiment with me. 

Boy-with-clasped-hands-cropped_MG-9630Clasp your hands in front of you.  Notice which thumb is on top, and which pinky is on the outside. 

Now release your hands and clasp them again, only this time put the opposite thumb on top and the opposite pinky on the outside. 

It feels weirdly strange and unfamiliar, doesn’t it?

You can try the same thing by crossing your arms.  For me, my left arm automatically goes on top and I really have to work at crossing my arms with my right arm on top.   

Did you have as much trouble with that as I did? 

We are creatures of habit.  We all have things that we’ve done for years, without thinking about it.  There’s no “right or wrong” to it, it’s just what comes naturally.

When it comes to running your business, I bet there are things you’ve done a certain way for a long time.  But as our business grows, we need to grow with it.  And that means we need to do things differently.

That can feel very strange and uncomfortable.  Old habits are hard to break. 

One of the most difficult things for women entrepreneurs to learn is this:  what got you here won’t get you there.  (Darn!)

In the start-up stage our businesses are typically… uh…shall we say, unstructured.  Meaning, we fly by the seat of our pants.  We have few systems, procedures or standardized processes.  We make things up as we go along. 

We also do most everything ourselves, at one point or another.  Depending on your industry, it’s common to know every single customer personally. 

You know exactly what to do, and you carry every detail around in your head.

That’s normal.  And appropriate for a start-up company.

But as your business grows, you get more employees involved – or maybe you out-source certain projects or projects to independent contractors.  You get more customers and there are more people involved in the process. 

Now, in this growth stage, sometimes the left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing.  Things get disorganized.  Things start to fall through the cracks. 

You have more people coming to you for answers and decisions.  They come to you because nothing is written down.  There are no standardized processes and procedures.  And they come to you because no one else can make a decision. 

Business is good, but life gets crazy.  You’re working harder just to keep up.

In this stage, it’s very common for the woman entrepreneur to do what she’s always done:  apply more steam, press harder on the gas pedal.  Meaning, work even harder.

Don’t.    

This is the very stage where you need to recall that little exercise of clasping your hands or folding your arms. 

Now is the time to remember:  what got you here won’t get you there. 

It’s time to change your leadership style.  And that can feel as strange and uncomfortable as deliberately crossing our arms with the “other” arm on top.

As our businesses grow, we need to grow too.  We have to learn new things, new ways of communicating.  We have to use new tools, new processes. 

Try this:  make a list of the five top skills and abilities that led you to where you are today.  Now ask yourself, what have you been resisting because it feels unfamiliar and uncomfortable?

Those things you are resisting could be exactly what your business needs right now. 

Change can feel strange and uncomfortable.  But that doesn’t mean change isn’t necessary. 

As our businesses grow, what we need most is the ability to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. 

Take care,

Darcie

P.S.  Let’s have a conversation about this.  Tell me in the comments section below your top five strengths (and what you might be resisting!). 

Ready to learn more about How to Get Unstuck and Grow Your Business? Check out this FREE Business Assessment!  

This Thanksgiving I’m thankful for women

I love Thanksgiving! It puts me into a spirit of gratitude, which is “health food” for the soul. (And I love Thanksgiving dinners too!)

Thanksgiving gratitude for womenFor most women I know (let’s be honest here), it’s often a lot of work!  My guess is that you’re not focusing Thanksgiving week on what we might call “self-care.”  Thanksgiving launches a season of caring for others, sometimes to the point of exhaustion. 

So I just want to take a few minutes and personally thank you for taking care of all the people (and pets!) in your world. 

Thank you for bringing empathy, compassion and forgiveness into a world that’s hungry for genuine feelings. 

Thank you for all those times you listened to a friend when she was sad or frustrated.  Thank you for celebrating her promotion or pregnancy.

Thank you for the dress you loaned her for that black tie event.  For being honest when she asked, “Do these jeans make me look fat?”  For telling her she’s beautiful at the very moment she looks her worst. 

Thank you for showing up with food after a funeral, with gifts at wedding and baby showers.  Thank you for being there with warm hugs after her marriage failed, when her boss was unreasonable, when her child was diagnosed with a learning disability.    

Thank you for all those canned goods you donated to the food bank, for all the nonprofit fundraisers you attended (and hosted, and chaired!).  Thank you for serving on boards of directors and committees, for providing your leadership and wisdom. 

Thank you for all those delicious Thanksgiving dinners you cooked!   For all the Christmas presents you wrapped with care and all the Christmas trees you lovingly decorated.  For all the Easter eggs you hid and all the Halloween costumes you made or admired. 

Thank you for showing up at all those soccer and t-ball games, all the gymnastic or wrestling meets.  Thank you for staying up late, to make sure your teenager came home safe.  And here’s a huge thank you for footing those college tuition bills!

Thank you for teaching your employees teamwork and the power of a shared vision.  Thank you for encouraging them to aspire, to learn, to grow and embrace their full potential. 

Thank you for providing jobs for people, for paying your share of taxes and benefits, even when it hurts. 

Thank you for taking care of your customers, for making their needs important to you. 

And finally, thank you for being a fantastic role model for all the young women who are inspired by you (even if you didn’t realize they’re watching), and who will look back one day and tell a friend, “I learned so much from her!”

And (at the risk of sounding like your mother), please do find a few moments in the midst of this holiday season to take care of yourself. 

Thank you.  The world needs all the passion and power in you! 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Darcie Harris

P.S.  If you can find twenty minutes to yourself this holiday season, enjoy my little gift of gratitude for you – a free podcast called Create a Better Life for You and Yours – which is all about living intentionally and creating your Personal Vision. 

Share the love and send this to women you know who need to hear, “Thank you!” or post it to your favorite social media account.  

A roller coaster of emotions

Inspired.  Frustrated.  Angry.  Joyful.  Helpless.  Excited.  Encouraged.  Anxious. 

smileThat’s a short list of the emotions I’ve experienced in the last few weeks.

Sound familiar?

Here’s a quick rundown — I felt:

 

  • Inspired — listening to Sister Rosemary Nyirumbe give a talk about St. Monica’s Girls Tailoring Center — her school for girls in war-torn Uganda.
  • Excited and energized — when she told me she would welcome me to travel there and volunteer (I have a call in to their organizer now!).    
  • Grateful — when eight men friends showed up to support the Oklahoma Women’s Coalition “One Voice” luncheon.  (I volunteer as a table host and this year I filled my table with…men!  Because the issues facing women aren’t “women’s issues.”  They are everyone’s issues!)
  • Encouraged — when I facilitated a strategic planning session for a long-time client and clearly saw the progress they made since our last session in May!
  • Angry — when an airline refused to reimburse me for additional travel costs that their customer service rep assured me would be reimbursed.
  • Helpless — when I discovered my YouTube account was hacked and the video for one of my e-courses had been replaced with some strange guy selling online marketing.
  • Frustrated — when an essential software program I use was behaving badly — for hours!.  Okay, throw in “helpless” for this one too!
  • Anxious — when I had to drop everything and respond to an immediate service request on top of an already packed day.

angry womanWhy should my “emotional diary” be important to you?  Because it’s really not about me, it’s about helping you discover something about yourself.  

Take a closer look at my list and you’ll see a pattern, a theme, emerge. 

The situations that generated positive emotions all involved being closely connected with people and doing something meaningful and helpful to others.

The situations that generated negative emotions all involved technology (or airline customer service – guessing I’m not the only one!). 

Woman on ComputerOur emotions are vital clues that deserve both our attention and our action. 

When we take the time to reflect on what makes us happy, joyful, excited or inspired versus anxious, frustrated, or even angry, we gain critical information about how to prioritize and organize or lives.

We’re not just wallowing in emotion for the sake of … well… wallowing.  We can use what we notice about our emotions to strategize. 

Of course we can’t avoid every unpleasant task or situation.  But we most definitely can notice – and what we notice helps us know ourselves deeply enough to intentionally construct a life that is more rewarding, more meaningful. 

When we are happier doing what we love, we are more productive.  Work doesn’t feel like work.

Don’t just take my word for it.  Two people smarter than me said something very similar. 

  •  Maya Angelou once said, “Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.”
  • Confucius said, “Do what you love and you’ll never work another day in your life.”

frustrated_womanOf course, no matter how fulfilling your life is, it’s just not possible to be happy one hundred percent of the time.  (That might even be boring.)  But we can use noticing and strategy to reduce the worst and increase the best. 

What did the emotional roller coaster of your life look like in the last month?  Take just a few minutes to recall the ups and downs, to write them down.  Then look for the patterns and themes. 

I used my information to outsource a few responsibilities that are unpleasant to me, so I can spend more of my time doing what I love – speaking, teaching, training and connecting. 

What does your information tell you?  And how can you use it to reorganize your tasks, your responsibilities, and your life?

I hope you’ll let me know! (in the comments section)

P.S.  If this subject resonated with you, I bet you’ll enjoy this free e-course, “Working Harder is a Trap.”  You’ll get specific questions and a really amazing template to help you rewrite your own job description!