Tag Archives: women entrepreneurs

Do Women Really Need to be Empowered?

This week I had an interesting conversation with a husband-wife team who own a business together.  Since I work only with female business owners, I wasn’t sure why Mr. Biz owner sat in on my conversation with Ms Biz owner, but I didn’t ask any questions.

I could tell that my “women only” service made him uncomfortable because he went over the top professing that his wife made her own decisions, that he’d never told her she couldn’t do something. When a man has to work that hard to convince me he’s not a chauvinist, I get a little skeptical.

I listened politely but soon became weary of his campaign to convince me that he’s a progressive kind of guy. Then he dropped the “E” word.

“My wife is an empowered woman,” he said.

I couldn’t resist. “Well you sound like a pretty empowered man to me,” I replied cheerfully.

That’s when he got red in the face and sputtered, “I don’t have to be empowered. I’m a man!”

I doubt they’ll invite me to dinner.

So why is it that women need to be empowered, but men get offended at the thought of being empowered?

Ah, they already power! To be empowered implies that we don’t have power and someone has to give it to us, as evidenced by this man’s reaction to my compliment about how empowered he is.

Perhaps women in developing countries, where it is common for women to be marginalized, need to be empowered — through legal changes, education, culture shifts, access to opportunities — but do women in the U.S. really need someone to empower us?

So ladies, how do you feel about your own power?  Do you feel comfortable embracing your own power or do you believe someone needs to empower you?

I’d love to read your comments.  And of course, if you are intrigued by what you read, feel free to share, but only if you think it adds to a good conversation.

 

girlfriend reunion

8 Life Lessons from My Girlfriend Reunion

Take eight high school girlfriends, add forty years, multiply by many thousands of miles and what do girlfriend reunionyou get? One great day of memories, hugs, and laughter, plus a few crucial lessons for both life and business.

I grew up in southern California, and moved away almost forty years ago (what was I thinking!!!). When I planned a trip back to attend a women’s conference, on a whim I reached out through Facebook to seven high school girlfriends who all still live in the area.

I hadn’t seen several of them since the day we graduated.

One of the women lives on a small lake, so we gathered there. We spent the afternoon on her boat, stopping for lunch, and sharing our stories (with plenty of photos and memories too!).

Together we heard about one another’s many joys and accomplishments. But real life isn’t just happy times, so we also heard about one another’s many obstacles, disappointments, and losses.

I’ll reflect on this sweet day for a long time.

That night I thought about all the challenges faced and overcome, all the love given and received, all fears and the courage. I thought about all the choices made, the opportunities seized and lost. I could see the steady paths followed, and could see the sharp turns and the roads not taken.

We had all changed, of course, yet we were the same. That small kernel of who we were on graduation day, who we ARE at the core, remained.

I came away with eight lessons worth sharing – meaningful lessons about both life and business.

1) Pursue your dreams, even though those dreams may shift and change. What we thought we wanted on the day we graduated might not have been what energized us after all. When one dream fades, put another in its place.

2) Build on your strengths, don’t limit yourself to them — add more. We were all good at something back in high school, and each of us added to those strengths by tackling challenges and being open to new learning.

3) Plans don’t unfold neatly, in life or in business. Plans have to be changed, sometimes dramatically. When one direction doesn’t work, look in a new direction.

4) Grief is inevitable. Every one of our eight friends had lost something – jobs, homes, husbands, children, and lost body parts (yes, feminine body parts). We can’t stay stuck in grief. We face life and change without losing who we are. We can let grief make us bitter, but why not let it make us better?

5) Resilience is crucial. Never ever give up. And in the words of one friend, “Don’t let your disappointments define you.”

6) Burdens are lighter when shared and some burdens are meant to be set down altogether. Forgiveness lightens the load we carry. That means forgiving ourselves too.

7) Always keep learning. Take a deep dive into what really interests you. Most of all, take a deep dive into learning about yourself. Self-awareness is fundamental to our happiness and success.

8) Your self-beliefs shape everything else. Pay close attention to what you tell yourself ABOUT yourself. Notice what you believe about who and what you are, because that’s who you will be. Always remain authenticity you, not who others defined you to be.

Take a second look at those eight lessons and ask yourself how they apply to your personal life and your business as well. I hope my girlfriend reunion leads to an “aha moment” for you.

And the last lesson…whether you are 25 or 65, keep in touch with your girlfriends!

P.S.  If you want to “go deep” into how your self-beliefs might be holding you back, and explore your unique purpose, check out my online course, The Alpha Mare: Embrace the Grace of Power.  You’ll learn lessons to shape the rest of your life, I promise.