A tale of two dogs.

My friend Dan has a cute little dog that he loves, but it’s making his life complicated. When he lets the dog out, it runs off, explores the entire neighborhood, and won’t come back when it’s called.

So Dan spends a fair amount of time worrying. Not to mention, walking around trying to find his dog (sometimes in the wee hours of the morning).

Another friend, Inky (I’m not making this up, that’s his real name), has a very obedient boxer. Upon Inky’s quiet commands or even silent hand signals, his dog will happily sit, stay, come, roll over, lie down, play dead or jump in his truck.

I’m guessing Inky could even get this dog to make the bed.

You may think that Dan has a bad dog and Inky has a good dog.

It’s not about the dogs.

The difference in these two pets andndash; or more specifically in these two pet owners andndash; is also the secret ingredient to many successful businesses.

The difference is discipline.

Not just the discipline of the dog. The discipline of the owners.

The self discipline it takes to train the dog. The self discipline to think things through, to be patient, to be consistent, to communicate, to devote time to training the dog.

You wear a lot of hats.

The truth is, owning a business is hard and we’re pulled in a dozen different directions at once.

Marketing, technology, social media, operations, financials, taxes, employment law, customer service, teamwork, strategy, interviewing, hiring, workers compensation.

The list of issues that a business owner has to know about is almost frightening.

Not everyone succeeds.

I’ve seen business owners who were creative marketing geniuses that still achieved only mediocre results. I’ve seen business owners who were a whiz with numbers or who had terrific people skills, and still stalled out at a lackluster plateau.

In most cases it wasn’t lack of smarts that held them back.

It was lack of discipline.

You may have a brilliant marketing mind and come up with the most clever, noticeable marketing campaigns. But if you don’t have the self discipline to execute those plans consistently, you won’t see the growth you want.

You can be a great sales person, skilled at developing relationships, drawing out prospects’ needs and offering just the right solution to meet the customers’ needs. But if you’re only “on” 25 weeks of the year, your company will never reach its full potential.

You can read business books about strategy, execution, planning, and leadership (yawn). You can have all the “head knowledge” on all the topics & subjects.

You can know what to do and still not do it.

Or not do it consistently. And it’s the consistency that makes all the difference.

No matter how good you are at some (or all!) of these things, without a healthy dose of self discipline, your results will never be what they could be.

What does self discipline look like?

Here are just a few ideas. You likely have more.

• Being on time for meetings and appointments
• Keeping your word
• Treating others with respect
• Doing what needs to be done, day in and day out, even when you’re tired, frustrated or disappointed
• Staying focused amidst a thousand distractions
• Containing your emotions when you’d like to rant and rave
• Being consistent instead of chasing every new idea
• Focusing in on two or three target markets, instead of trying to be all things to all people
• Following the policies and procedures (that you put in place yourself!)
• Facing difficult people issues instead of avoiding them
• Having fiscal discipline, instead of spending yourself into a hole too big to dig out of
• Holding regular weekly staff meetings with a real agenda
• Scheduling and holding quarterly and annual planning sessions

As I look back on the most successful women business owners we’ve worked with over the years, the common denominator andndash; regardless of industry or intellect andndash; is self discipline.

It’s not flashy, it’s not glamorous, but self discipline may just be the secret ingredient to your business success.

I’d love to hear your shortcuts, tricks and secrets to developing habits of self discipline. Just post them in the Comments section.

Warren Buffet has said that he bases his investment decisions on what he notices. He pays attention to those around him, to what they like, dislike, choose and avoid. Consequently, he’s tuned in to market trends and changes.

You know what I’ve noticed lately? Clients with increasing sales, hiring new people and expanding.

Here’s a quick rundown of some of the conversations I’ve had with four clients this week:

• One said sales are up 1,100 percent and they have over $750,000 in orders backlogged, waiting to be shipped.
• Another is opening a new location, based on the success of her first location.
• A third now has a waiting list for new clients.
• A forth is hiring for a key marketing position and now needs to up the salary for that position to attract truly qualified candidates.

I’m not an economist (thank God!), but from what I see and hear, it sounds like our economy is definitely on the upswing. Though economic growth will vary depending on what part of the country you’re in, maybe it’s a good time to get out of “hunker down” mode and get positioned for growth.

How long has it been since you’ve stepped back and taken a strategic look at your growth plans? Wouldn’t that feel great, after three years of anxiety, caution, or outright gloom!

Get positioned for growth now, by asking yourself a few tough questions.

1) In one sentence, describe your company:

2) In one sentence, what differentiates you in your market? Is that difference meaningful to your customers?

3) If possible, what would you do today that you believe would have a big impact on your business?

4) What three things do you feel are the biggest obstacles of growth within your company?

5) Given an unlimited budget of time and resources, what three things could you do to eradicate those obstacles?

6) What three things could you take immediate responsibility for that would contribute to business growth?

7) In what ways do you think your company could compete better with the competition?

8) “We should be doing that” — Have you said that lately? What pieces need to be in place to act on your idea? .

9) What tools do you believe are necessary to support the generation of new business?

10) How could your company maximize the business relationship with existing clients?

11) How do you think your company could increase and benefit from referrals?

12) As you explore your corporate culture and business growth initiative to generate new business, what are your three main concerns?

13) In what five ways do you think past marketing efforts have failed to focus on/generate business growth?

14) What is the one underlying economic driver that would create significant value for your business?

15) When was the last time you gathered your team together for a full day or two of strategic planning?

Be a bit like Warren Buffett (wouldn’t that be nice!). Seriously, notice what is taking place around you. Be aware of changes in your industry, in your market, in your community. Apply that awareness to answering the above questions and you can capitalize on those trends and get positioned for growth.

Early last week I looked at my calendar and saw a rare phenomenon: five days in a row, with almost no appointments or meetings. That never happens! So I seized the opportunity and on the spur of the moment scheduled a personal retreat.

I drove to a retreat center six hours away — convertible top down, stereo volume up. Wind blowing in my hair and sun warming my skin. The drive alone was therapeutic.

I spent five glorious days in almost total silence, completely unplugged. No phone calls, no technology, no data base, no spreadsheets, no Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, no texts, no emails, no TV, no news. Nothing short of a miracle to accomplish that complete disconnect!

Each day I took long walks. I practiced my yoga poses in the grass on top of a hill. Spent lots of time in reflection, meditation, journaling and prayer. I even took naps!

I had forgotten it was possible to live without a Blackberry in my hand and a BlueTooth in my ear.

The surprising thing? Life went on fine without me. The world did not come to a crashing halt because I was not participating. Although I heard that the stock market took a tumbleandhellip;do you think that’s because I wasn’t working?

Professional women’s live have become a continuous stream of frenzied movement. We live by our calendars and to-do lists. We compulsively organize and create efficiencies so that we can put even more on our lists!

We are cramming so much into every moment of the day that even the few things we do for ourselves andndash; a pedicure or massage here or there andndash; become one more item to check off our lists. We become mechanized and automated.

But every now and then we need to still the waters and see who is living in this skin.

I’m glad I did. (I think my friends are glad I did too!) When I left I felt as dry as our soil that became so parched from the summer heat. Each day away brought a fresh blanket of dew, the moisture I needed to rehydrate.

I returned to my office today refreshed and energized. I was so happy that on the drive to work I wanted to wave and smile at other drivers in traffic.

As this summer comes to a close and fourth quarter goals stare us in the face, I hope you too will take a time out andndash; unplug, disconnect and spend some time with yourself.

Still the waters.

Three weeks ago, I led a group of women business owners on a professional development retreat.

After our three hour drive, we arrived at the resort about 5:00. Everyone wanted to stretch their legs and freshen up, so we agreed to meet in the lounge at 5:30 for a glass of wine before dinner.

The attractive lounge was downstairs and had a painted concrete floor, high ceilings and big glass windows that looked out over the pool (sounds lovely, doesn’t it?). Though it wasn’t crowded, the first thing we noticed as we gathered at our table was the noise level. All the hard surfaces made for lots of women saying, “What? I can’t hear you.” It was kind of hard to start the female bonding mood when we couldn’t near each other.

It took 40 minutes to get our drinks, which, by the way, were not exactly complicated Caribbean concoctions. Just beer and wine. Twice we asked our waitress to check on our order. She gave us a helpless look. Frustrated, I went directly to the bartender to ask for our drinks. He shrugged and told me he was very busy. Thanks.

Our plan for a relaxing weekend of learning and self care was off to a dubious start.

Things went downhill from there. Our dinner was marginal. One woman asked for cocktail sauce for her fried shrimp and the waiter brought her one of those little paper cups of catsup! The breakfast buffet was abundant but the eggs and sausage were cold. Our lunch the following day took 45 minutes to arrive. Even the afternoon chocolate cookies were bad. I didn’t know it was possible to make bad chocolate cookies!

The only thing that saved the weekend from being a complete disaster was the service staff, who were exceptionally kind and made every effort to compensate for the kitchen problems.

My clients were good sports, and didn’t let it ruin their weekend. Though there were plenty of little disparaging remarks about the venue, they enjoyed our workshop and one another’s company. But I doubt any of them will be planning their family vacations there!

I was anxious beyond words. As the leader, it’s my job to make sure my clients have a good experience. Worse, I had a second group going to this same location two weeks later. I’d made the arrangements months in advance and couldn’t bail out of the contract without a huge penalty.

What a dilemma. I wanted to minimize the second group’s expectations, yet I didn’t want to tell them about the problems, because I thought that would plant negative expectations andndash; and you get what you expect. So I simply reminded them it would be a “casual weekend.” How’s that for diplomacy.

But here’s what’s interesting. The second group had a much better experience.

Why? Had the resort replaced the bartender with someone who could multi-task faster? Had they fired the chef? Well, “chef” is a stretch; let’s just say “cook.”

No, the quality of the food was no better. The breakfast buffet was no warmer. Our lunch did arrive more promptly. The service was equally attentive.

You know what made the difference? Knowing that the lounge downstairs, with the high ceilings and concrete floor, was noisy and crowded, I chose a different location for the group to meet for their pre-dinner happy hour. It was a quiet room with a great view, and our service was perfect.

The entire trip started off on a much better note. The group had a much better experience. For my first group, that awful first impression in the lounge, taking 40 minutes to get our drinks and a waitress that didn’t take the service seriously, colored our impressions of everything that followed.

Making a good first impression matters. We might think that the importance of making a good first impression is shallow. After all, there’s much more to who we are and who our companies are than a first impression.

That’s true. Yet making a good first impression is where the trust begins. When a customer makes a decision to use your service or your product, they do so with a degree of trust.

You want your brand to be trusted. The true meaning of the word “brand” is “trust with the marketplace.” The more trust customers feel, the more they buy and they more they refer others.

On our first retreat, the negative first impression my group had damaged their trust and they were skeptical of everything that followed. The second group had a good first impression and everything that followed simply felt better. They weren’t expecting the worst. They had trust.

andcopy; 2011 Darcie Harris

I grew up in southern California, about an hour inland from the great beaches at Newport and Laguna. The rite of passage for teens in my part of the world was to get your drivers license the day you turned 16, then load up your car with friends and head to the beach.

That’s how we all spent our summer weekends — at the beach. We listened to rock and roll on our transistor radios. We slathered our skin with a combination of baby oil and iodine, to get that perfect color tan. We sprayed lemon juice in our hair, because it was supposed to give us natural blond highlights.

But going to the beach wasn’t really about getting a tan, and it certainly wasn’t about swimming. It was about meeting boys.

I was a good swimmer and enjoyed a brisk dip in the Pacific. But most of my girlfriends didn’t go in the water much. Why? Because if the point of going to the beach was to meet boys, you didn’t want to do that with wet hair.

One late summer day, I broke the first rule of water sports. Tired of being hot and sticky (and not having met any cute boys), I went for a swim–alone.

I swam out a ways, kicked around just enough to cool off and looked back to shore. I had a hard time seeing where my friends were perched on their beach towels.

I started swimming toward the beach, kicking and stroking until I was out of breath, but it seemed like I was getting nowhere. I swam harder, until my legs and arms burned. Exhausted, I tread water for a minute, to rest and once again check my bearings. Nothing on the beach looked familiar.

What I did see was the lfeguard station. Flapping on top was a red flag. That flag meant riptide.

Now I was a little scared. I realized i was caught in a strong undercurrent that was pulling me farther out and father down the beach, no matter how hard I swam.

Once again, I began swimming hard and once again I wore out. As I tread water, a large wave tossed me around and when I surfaced, strangely I ended up next to a young man in the water. Yes, one of those cute boys we’d love to meet. But not this way!

And you know what I did? I very politely asked if I could just rest on his arm for a minute. Now here I am, drowning, and still too prideful to ask for what I needed, which was to be towed to shore, even if I would definitely look like a un-cool.

My rest was brief because another wave separated us. And after another hard swim toward the beach and getting nowhere, I finally did what any sane person would have done 30 minutes earlier. I waved my tired arms and yelled for help. The lifeguards, trained to look for fools like me, spotted me, and a big hunk of a guy came out to rescue me.

I learned an important lesson that day: working hard doesn’t always get you where you want to go. Working harder isn’t always the answer.

Sometimes you have to ask for help. Sometimes you have to admit you’re not Superwoman. Darn, I hate it when that happens!

Sometimes, it’s time for a new strategy.

Working with female business owners, I see many women just like me. When the going gets tough, they apply more steam, more will power. When a problem arises, they work harder to solve it. They work until they are exhausted.

The most important thing we need to learn on business is HOW to solve the problems and challenges we face. Working harder isn’t always the answer.

If you are in the weeds (well, not if, but when), instead of applying more steam, do the counterintuitive thing. Back up and take the longer view.

President Eisenhower said, “Sometimes when we can’t solve a problem, we have to make it bigger.” He wasn’t really trying to create huge problems. What he meant was, we have to look at the bigger picture to get a broader perspective.

Look for the “solution after next” which, in chess, is called down-board thinking. The players think three or four moves ahead. Can you skip over a short-term fix and jump to a longer term solution?

Call in the lifeguard. Ask for help from someone who is experienced and wise. Reach out to people you trust. Sit down over a cup of coffee or lunch and talk it over.

Brainstorm, look for creative options and consider them all. Don’t get stuck in assuming you have to do things like you’ve always done them.

Maybe it’s time to write your own job description...work at the highest and best use of your skills!

Above all, get honest with yourself about your fears. It’s your fears that keep you stuck. I literally nearly drowned in my fear of looking weak or un-cool.

When your arms and legs are burning, when you’re out of breath, working harder may not be the answer. Its time for a new strategy.

And never swim alone.